Pink Is The New DICK

I love my brothas, from the thugs to the professionals, cornrows to dreads, average body to thick brothas, and yellow to blue black. I have never had a certain type of dude that I am only attracted to, I happen to like a wide variety of men, Latino, Asian, Native American etc. As of lately though, I have found myself more and more attracted to the white guys. I don't know what it is. Don't get me wrong I have nothing against white people or interracial dating, I am a black gay man, I don't have much room to be a racist too. More often than lately I have been feeling a STRONG attraction to white guys. In the past I would see a white guy and would think to myself "he's cute" and thats it, but it feels different now. I picture myself having sex with some of the attractive white men I come in contact.

White men come in as wide of a variety as black men, but I usually find myself attracted to 3 main type of white guys. The first one being the Dark Horse- Dark hair, well dressed, well groomed, and usually wears a watch. The second one is the Cute Nerd- the cute nerd seems to be popular among gay and straight people, but he isn't necessarily smart, he just has the appearance of a nerd, clothes are usually not trendy just very basic, and wears chic glasses. But behind the questionable clothes and glasses he is very cute. Last you have the classic Sexy and Nice guy, think Matthew McConaughey.

I also notice my interaction with white males is a little different from my interaction with my black counterparts, just in small instances. White men seem to be a little more out there in terms of flirting subtly. Its just a different vibe altogether, can't really explain it or put my finger on it.I would date outside my race in a heartbeat and that includes someone white. Any way you look at it, dick is dick. If you suck a white guys dick, will it not grow? All dicks shoot out the same creamy white substance, unless your a regular at the free clinic, then one might shoot out a different color.

House Of Bre

Is it her raspy Harlem accent or that-bitch-is-crazy attitude that makes me and apparently others love her so much?

If you are a fan of America's Next Top Model then u should be familiar with this bronze mahogany Mona Lisa. Bre u really disappointed me this past Wednesday night with ur childish antics, almost to the point where Ms. Tyra Banks was about to send your ass packing, but by the grace of the big G,we have been blessed with ur presence for another week.

Bre you said it best when you said, "God Don't Like Ugly", but even when showing yo ass for some reason I still find u to be too damn cute. Ms.Bre you have my heart win or lose.

*****Spoiler Alert*****

Speaking of Win or Lose. Could this (click here) be the ANTM winner? She even has a publicist.She (click here) is drop dead gorgeous, but I have yet to really make a connection with her, and I find her pretty boring, but I wouldn't be upset if she won. I think if she won, it would be another bad case of Naima. Poor Naima, who's pitching Cover Girl products at Walgreens.

My Saving Grace

Thanksgiving is tomorrow and I have a lot to be thankful for. I'm grateful and appreciative for my life, but do u ever wake up some days just mad or sad for no reason? That's how I feel today. It could be a lot of obvious things, like the fact that I am single and keep making eye contact with very attractive men and then...nothing or could it be the fact that Noah's Arc is a repeat tonight..Damn u LOGO. Deep down I know the real reason why I'm feeling down is because it feels like I'm losing my best friend.

Good friends, are few, far, and in between, I think that's how the saying goes. I have some friends, a lot of associates, but only 2 best friends. One of my best friends happens to be a female, whom I've known since 2nd grade. She was the prettiest girl in my class, and every boy had a crush on her including me. I remember writing her love letters and proclaiming my undying love for her on more than one occasion when I was in grade school. But now we are adults and she has a real love, a new boyfriend.

She has had boyfriends before while I have had girlfriends, but this time it seems so much different. I rarely see her anymore, let alone do anything together. We only communicate via email or telephone and its just not the same. I like her new boyfriend, he cool peeps, but sometimes I selfishly wish they would break up. I know that's mean, but it is what it is. I hate how some friends get new boyfriends or girlfriends, and seem to forget about their friends in the process. Every waking moment, every concern, every word, every thought, and everything becomes about that significant other. They become less of a friend and more of couple. They become one brain with only one thought between the two of them. I know I know, if I had a love life of my own, I wouldn't be concerned with anyone elses, but I don't so fuck all that. I am happy for my friend, I just miss the girl who's the GRACE to my WILL.

21 Questions...Well Almost

Today I went to the barbershop to get a fresh cut, my Thursday ritual. Today was like any other day, except it was cold as fugggg. I had to break out the parka. So I'm sitting in the chair, watching t.v, my eyes getting pretty heavy. I don't know what it is about getting a haircut that makes me so relaxed. As my eyes are getting heavy, I do one of those embarrassing hard ass nods, where your head snaps back really quick and wakes you up. I open my eyes abruptly and adjust them. Am I seeing correctly? Does one of the other barbers have on a pair of UGG boots. My eyes are not deceiving me, the barber is wearing a pair off UGG boots with a pair of slacks and one of those tacky, fake, silky, Versace circa 1993 shirts, and to top it off, it looked like he had just watered his Jheri curl, because that shit was looking extra juicy.All I could think of is WHY? Why would you do that, even worse why would you do that to my eyes? As he walked through out the small room of the barbershop, my mind just went into overdrive with a lot of unanswered questions.

• Why was one of the barbers at the barbershop today wearing UGG boots? Not the real UGG boots, but the cheap imitation ones you can get from Walmart and Payless.
• Why do I get my hair cut at the most ghetto shop in St.Louis, where it operates as a bar/club and barbershop simultaneously.
  
• Why do people in St.Louis follow the dumbest trends? Ex. Beer bottle caps on the end of braids and cornrows.
• While on ghetto ish, how do u spell "finna"? Finna as in - I'm finna go to the store. Is it fina or finna?
• Why do black people call Chop Suey restaurants "The Chinamen"?
• Why does there have to be a crackhead, alcoholic, prostitute etc. in every family? Stop fronting like ya'll don't at least have one.
• Why in the winter time do white people wear everything but a coat? They will wear a hat, scarf, gloves, but no coat.
• Why is my cousins' name Tanaka? Honest to GOD
• Your girl don't like me? How long has she been gay?
• Why is my dad so country, that he fries catfish in the kitchen wearing a leather jacket and hat?
• Why are some people so cheap that all of their ketchup and mustard come from fast food restauraunts?
  
• Why do some people pay more money for their car note than their house note?
• Why do people get their own names tattooed on their body?
• Why do people steal grocery carts from the supermarket?
• How come people can memorize every line of the movie Friday, but can't memorize the Our Father?
• Why do people get airbrushed shirts of family or friends that pass away? Ex. R.I.P Lil' Pooky.
• Why does it seem like welfare recipients are always buying a birthday cake with their EBT card?
• Serena WHY In the HELL would U do this?

I said it must be ya ASS cause it AIN'T yo Face!

Tuesday Testimony

Today was a typical Monday, shitty weather, shitty attitudes, and shitty people. I'm sure you get the point. While at work, I spot one of my co-workers reading a Cosmopolitan magazine, one of the headlines read 36 New Tricks To Turn Him On, and another reads Sex Trends Worth Trying. I thought to myself where is the Gay man's guide to dating and sex.

I am 23 years old and I've been on this earth as a gay man for 16 years (I knew I was gay at 7), and to be honest I am still learning to accept who I am. I am not out to a lot of my friends, not even my parents. One thing I know is that a mother knows her child, she knows I'm gay, but I still haven't come out. It's pretty lonely staying in this closet. I think me not being out contributes to me being ignorant about a lot of things when it comes to homosexual dating, life, and love.

When I was 18 my family got its first computer. We had AOL, which would ultimately become my learning annex of gay terminology and lifestyle. I remember the first chat buddy I ever made, his name was BstonJones. I met him in the M4M Steamroom on AOL. He instant messaged me with Top or Bottom. I had no clue what that meant, so I just responded with a nice hello. We talked a lot over a couple months. Over those couple of months I learned what top and bottom was, what chaps were, terms like fem, bear, twinkie, and rimming etc. Thank U BstonJones.

I am probably at the most confusing and lonliest state in my life. I have dated females, kissed females, had sex with females. While my dick was in them, my heart wasn't with them.

I still knew I liked dudes, but I thought I might be bi. Eventually I just learned to personally accept the fact that I'm gay. I yearn to share that first kiss with a man (Although I kissed I boy when I was 12). There is so much I have yet to experience.

• I have never sucked a dick. I don't even know how.
• I have never been to a gay club.
• I have never kissed another MAN.
  
• I don't know if I am a Top or Bottom.

My lack of experience always makes other gay guys question my sexuality. Whenever I talk to a dude online, I'm always hit with the question, "How do you know your gay if u have never had sex with a man before?" "Are u just bi-curious?"I find that so odd, in high school I always felt I had to prove my masculinity more than the next man because I was gay, but I never thought I would have to prove I was gay to another gay man. Being black can be hard in itself, but being gay as well, is sometimes just too much. It seems like gay men are pickier than women. I get tired of visiting sites like Adam4Adam and the Gay Chatroom on Blackplanet, where everyone post pics of their dicks and ass. Why can't I just meet someone at the mall or the grocery store like straight people do. Oh I know why, because you just can't assume everyone is gay the way we assume everyone is straight in any given environment.

I just wanna be FREE, free to be me and live my life. I didn't choose to be gay, it is just the life that chose me.

Trick Love The Kids.......But I Don't!

This week has been pretty trying. I have a horrible cold, I sound like Harvey Fierstein, my check was a measly 83.00 dollars this week, which is just enough to buy only 1 Lacoste polo, but on the other hand the haircut I gave myself has been getting a lot of compliments, and the waves are looking official if I do say so myself.

My half sister and my 2 nephews and niece came to visit this week, always a pleasure seeing them but after the first 2 days I'm ready for them to bounce. Those kids are outta control. I come home from work from an exhausting and bad day, only to be greeted at the door by my 10 year old nephew saying, "They found my sex book!" I'm thrown off for a sec, because I don't own any porn magazines of such. Then it clicks, my Dave LaChapelle books ( a Christmas gift from my best friend). Pissed, I immediately spot my books on the living room floor, the pages are creased and seem to have grease spots on them. I quickly grab my books up off the floor in anger, and retrieve to my room to calm down. Before I step foot in my room, I open the door and notice a diaper on my floor with the #2 in it, and some of the shit is actually on my carpet. Apparently my niece has a habit of taking off her own diapers. FFFUUUCCCKKKK. Now I'm pissed off and go yell at my sister asking her wassup with the shit on my floor and why is it still sitting there.

She spats some lame excuse blah blah blah, FUCK IT! I will clean it up myself. After scrubbing for 45 mins, I still wasn't satisfied with the way my carpet looked and smelled, so I immediately went out to buy a huge rug to cover my carpet. I'm now out 50 something odd dollars and I have come to the conclusion that I really am not a person who loves kids.

To be honest I am so sick of people and their kids. Its like I can't escape them, they are everywhere. Sitting next to me on a plane, eating across from me at restaurants that are for bottles of Cristal not bottles of milk. I am tired of seeing 4 year olds sucking on pacifiers and tired of seeing kids the age 5 and under that can sing "Shake That Laffy Taffy" but they don't know the theme song to Sesame Street. Kids are cute to look at it, but that's where it stops. If I want to be annoyed and aggravated, I'd go on a date.

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Meet Your New Mommy Bitches!

This bitch is straight up crazy. This bitch needs some DICK in her mouth and pussy PRONTO!!!! If you are confused on who this chick is, check out this clip.

Looka Like A.....

Clay I just read ur Looka Like A... post (brilliant by the way) and noticed that you forgot one.

Ricky of Noah's Arc

Looka Like A........
Sommore

Coulda, Woulda, Shoulda

Being young and single is suppose to be a time of self discovery, a time of a fun, a time to catch up with old buddies at the VD clinic. Being single has become a headache and just a showcase for me to prove how can I embarrass myself once again.

It's Friday night in St.Louis, what are you going to do? Well you can either go to one of the 10 clubs in the whole city, go to the Eastside and watch strippers with cigarette burns flaunt there overworked coochies, go to the movies, go to dinner, or stay home. I chose to stay home , partly because I'm tired of seeing the same faces everywhere I go and I'm broke of course. So I'm settled in, got my Chinese food and Will and Grace, I'm all set.

It's around 10:30 p.m. when my cell starts ringing, I look at the area code and notice a 973 area code, it's Nas, my first love. first kinda-sorta-boyfriend, first of the first. Nas had a new dude now, but we still remained friends.We had been talking on and off throughout the week, so the call should not have surprised me, but it did. I hesistantly answered the phone. We did our usual formalities, "Whaddup", "I'm Aight", etc. Nas asks me, "What are u doing tonite?" Me being my cool self, starts blabbing and nutting up, not wanting to admit I was being a lame and staying at home.. I get up off the bed, feeling antsy, as I walk towards my dresser, I trip over my big ass Timberland boot and drop the phone. I try to play it off unsuccessfully and sit my ass back down on the bed. Then we start talking about me moving to N.Y, I pick up my remote control and start twirling it up and down, as I tell him about my job search. I'm in mid-sentence and mid twirl as my remote control bashes my right eye and somehow scratches me. By this point Nas is wrapping the convo up and telling me he would call me once he got home. It's Sunday, my eye hurts, and I have yet to hear from him.

He made me nervous, do u think he noticed?

Face Off

Alright, I just got done watching R.Kelly's Trapped in the Closet Chapter 6-8, some dumb ass shit right there. Rose the nosy neighbor..........*scratching my head* Ok, so I'm watching the video and see a familiar face, its Michael K. Williams. A lot of people may know him as Omar the homothug on HBO's The Wire. At first glance dude may not be attractive, but he has something that makes him sexy. He is Remy Ma's favorite character on the show and he is also in Sharissa's (fake ass Mary J Blige) video "I Wish I wasn't in Love with a Thug".
Is it the scar, his thug appeal, his demeanor, his smile, his acting abilities that make him sexy? He probably isn't attractive by stereotypical standards of beauty,.but dude is hot. The scar works for me, sorta like the same way Seals's work for him, and he married a freaking supermodel.

Is This The New Face Of Sexy?

Spare Change Anyone?

Ok so it's officially back to reality. I had hella fun in New York, and spent all my hard earned money on overpriced shoes, sneakers,clothes, and food. I am dreading going back to work Saturday, I know its going to be bullshit on top of bullshit. Today I looked at my bank account, and its officially, in the double digits. Then I looked at my closet and admired my new pair of exclusive sneakers, and the price tags still hanging from my clothes at the Sean John store on 5th Ave, I smile to myself, and think you only live once.

I tend to manage my money very well...so I think. My bills are always paid on time, I don't have any outstanding debts, I pay my taxes, but my bank account is looking sad. Time to take action, so in another attempt to evolve and improve myself, I'm going to get serious about looking for a new job. There is no reason that I should be this unfulfilled professionally with a fucking college degree, so therefore I am dedicating tomorrow/today to look for a new job A.S.A.P. I have too many habits and vices to support, and besides that I like my money where I can see it, on my feet, back, and legs.

Day 2-4 (I Heart N.Y The Final Chapter)

I just recently got back from favorite place in the world New York. I am sad to say its back to reality for me, but I had the best time. I was there for 4 days and instead of doing 4 separate post, I will just summarize the top moments of my trip in no certain order.

• Sitting on the famous steps of Carrie Bradshaw's (Sex and The City) apartment.
• Standing next to Helen Hunt at a stoplight in SOHO.
• Eating at The Pink Tea Cup.
• Going to Harlem. Harlem was another world, there was like a hustle on every street corner.
• Seeing Times Square
• Shopping at the Sean John store on 5th Ave, I bought hella shit..crazzy
• Getting hit on by the guy at Magnolia Bakery, mad cute.
• Dropping my Sean John bags and almost seeing them get ran over by 3 taxis.
• Eating at The Cafeteria, super trendy and good food.
• Learning that most restaurants in New York don't give free refills.
  
• Going to The VH1 Soul concert at B.B King.
• Sitting on the subway next to the most chocolate, delicious man I have ever seen in life.
• Noticing piles and piles of trash on every other street corner.
• Almost being stampeded trying to get out the subway.
• Getting back to the hotel room after 2 a.m every night.
• Finally realizing there is no place like home, I still Love New York though.
  

Day 1 (I Heart N.Y The Final Chapter)

Before stepping off the plane in New York, I made sure my jeans were properly tucked in my Timbs and my black NY hat was strategically tilted to the right angle. As we step off the plane, I am greeted by a drab, cold, almost ghost like airport, called Laguardia, not at all what I thought. I thought it would be crowded with busy New Yorkers, not today I guess. The weather isn't the greatest on this Friday afternoon, its pretty chilly and gray outside, but we decide to make the best of it. We get to the hotel and change clothes for the VH1 Soul concert at B.B. King. where Jaguar Wright, Keke Wyatt, and Kindred Soul are performing. Finally I'm in New York, granted our hotel is in Queens, and the nearest bus stop is a few blocks away, but its New York all the same.



We hop on the M60 bus (which would become our regular routine) and head to the subway. We reach our destination, and my Timbs are walking on the sidewalk pavement in New York City in Times Square. I look up and see billboard after billboard, I'm in New York, finally, the city that never sleeps, the city I have wanted to live in since 6th grade, the city where Hype Williams has used the backdrop of in a numerous amount of his videos, I'm here. I take a minute and compose myself, so I won't look too amped and silly. We walk around, eat, and kill time before the show. As we are walking, we notice a long line outside one of the buildings. I wonder aloud, "What's that long line for?". Then I see that the building reads B.B. King, SHIT! I forgot that the concert sitting was first come, first serve. So we hop in line, behind 3 neo-afrocentric chicks. The line becomes even longer during a rather short period of time. We finally get in, there are not alot of seats left, but we find a good standing spot to post up on.

I notice how attractive a lot of the people in the crowd are, and my eyes begin to roam around the room. Somehow I lock eyes with a brotha at the bar. He looks to be about 5'11 maybe, medium brown skin, a brown checkered blazer, with a t-shirt underneath, jeans, and black shoes. He gives me a nod, I politely smile, can't do too much since I'm with my friends. Finally, the show begins, and Keke Wyatt performs first. I wasn't really sure if I would know any of her songs, since the only ones I knew of, were the ones she did with Avant. She came out, and I was shocked at how much weight she had lost, she looked damned good, in a pink blouse and blue jean mini skirt. I couldn't stop staring at her, and when she opened her mouth to talk and her country accent came out, I was hooked. She completed her set, and got a good round of applause, she did her thing.

After Keke performed, Kindred Soul came out. I was kind of excited to see them, even though I only knew one of their songs "Far Away". They were excellent and had good chemistry, I guess since they are married, it helps. The husband was mad cute, I still don't know his name, but they made a new fan that night. Finally, Jaguar Wright came out and performed. I am not the biggest Jaguar fan, but I liked her collabos she had done with The Roots and Jay-Z. She sang, but I'm not sure as to what she was saying, she even admitted on stage that she didn't even know what she was saying. What I liked most about Jaguar's performance was how real she was, she called Philadelphia radio vee-jay Miss Jones out, it was hilarious. Her performance may not have been my favorite, but her personality was.

The concert ended late on a high note. We were hurriedly exited out the building, because there was apparently an afterparty being thrown after the concert for another event. We got back on the subway, where I sat in between a cute latino dude and a guy who kept trying to sell me a pair of socks. I was excited to sit down, after standing for damn near 5 hours, and headed back to Queens. Exhausted I climb under my cheap Poly and Ester sheets and drifted to sleep.

To be continued...............