Long Live The Queen

Today's post is a tribute to Lil' Kim. She's coming home Monday from the big house, so I'm pretty sure we are going to be seeing and hearing alot from Kim in the next couple of days.

I was 13 years old when I recieved Lil' Kim's album Hardcore as Christmas present from my Aunt. My Aunt did not approve of me having the CD, but for some reason she bought it anyway. Now that I think back on it, I'm suprised my aunt and even my parents let me own something that was damn near pornographic, but there Lil' Kim was, with her legs spread wide, with the word HARDCORE spelled out.

Everytime I hear a Lil' Kim joint, I'm still like "I can't believe she just said that!" So I decided to share with you all some of my favorite Lil' Kim lines. Enjoy!

"Uh wha wha" - classic Lil' Kim all day!

"I used to be scared of the dick, Now I throw lips to the shit!'

"What the deal on that Prince cat he be lookin fruity but he can still eat the booty."

"I don't want dick tonight. Eat my pussy right!"

"Niggas ain't shit but they still can trick.All they can do for me is suck my clit!"

"Bet I wet cha like hurricanes and typhoons. Got buffoons eatin my pussy while I watch cartoons"

"Now Im skin deep in my Lexus Jeep, peep da Queen sista if I would fuck wit Mista they'd be sucking blackberry molasses out my asses."

"Niggas cum too fast for me. A waste of a good dick if you ask me"

"You wanna steal the pussy like a thief. Now kiss the lips without the teeth."

Then this homey Jimmy, he's screamin "Gimme,"Lay me on my back, bustin' nuts all in me."

"It was somethin' about this dude I couldn't stand
Somethin' that coulda made his ass a real man
Somethin' I wanted, but I never was pushy
the motherfucker never ate my pussy."

"Kim got him in a zone beating they dicks. Even got some of these straight chicks rubbing their tits."

"Got the camcord layin' in the drawer where he can't see
Can't wait to show my girls he sucked the piss out my pussy."

"You bitches ain't been through shit, you just minors
What you know about stuffin' half a bricks in your vagina."

"It's the dick licker, it's the baby sipper
Ain't a bitch alive can make a nigga cum quicker
Baby girl's pussy get wetter than a shower cap
Got my mans back like a Jansport napsack."

"Cause see, I got the tightest, rightest vagina
Even got my name on the menu at the diner."

Feel free to share your own favorite Lil' Kim lines!

The Devil Wears Payless

I just died. Not sure of my cause of death. Not sure of my time of death. I didn't make it to heaven, instead I was sent to HELL, where the devil was reincarnated as my boss at work. Today I was face to face with the Devil for a full 7 hours. She looks more like a vampire than the Devil. She can be rather intimidating and scary to look at with her heavy mascara, black hair, off-white complexion, yellow teeth, and cheap black attire. Damn, It must feel good to PAYLESS. She only wears black or red, I KID U NOT. Her presence and her name alone, just sucks the positive energy and happiness right out of my body. I already HATE my job, but she is an added bonus. I hate the way she talks to me, its like she is chewing her face and I just stepped off the short yellow bus. She is usually a BITCH, but today she just kept fucking with me. Picking at everything I did. I wanted to FUCK HER UP more than usual. I know she doesn't like me, but it's cool because I can't stand that bitch either. Just because I won't kiss her ass, she likes to fuck with me. My hours have already been cut and my schedule is always fucked. My code name for my boss is the BALDING EAGLE If I ever spot her in radius of where I'm at, I warn whomever is around me, that THE BALDING EAGLE HAS LANDED. If she sees you smiling or talking to one of ur fellow co-workers, she will immediately come over and attempt to put u in check. I'm sure everyone has had a boss they didn't like at some point in time, but this BITCH is one of a kind! Words can not explain how much I HATE that FUGLY, FLAT ASS, ASS FACE, SLUT BAG, BITCH!!!!

What have I done to deserve this treatment! WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME MY LORD!!? I did everything I was suppose to do. I finished high school, I finished college,I go to church (not as often as I use to, but I still go), I'm a good person, a GOOD person. I don't deserve this! I have a college degree! Why the fuck am I checking groceries anyway!!!!! It's so frustrating, because I have been looking for a new job for what seems like forever. It is really taking its toll on me. I'm telling you, ya'll don't know my struggle, it's been crazy. I am truly stressed!!!

Grace Replaced

I have come to the conclusion a friendship of almost 20 years has reached its course. The friendship in question is the one with my very own Grace Adler, my best friend since second grade. She really is or was the Grace to my Will. I have spoken about her before and we are still growing further apart. This is mostly due to the fact that she has a boyfriend now whom she feels she has to spend every second of the day with. The phone calls have stopped, the emails have become less frequent, I haven't seen her in about a month and she lives less than 10 minutes away from me. I can't even remember the last time we did anything together, which had to be almost 3 or more months ago. I feel like the only time she calls me is when she is having problems with her boyfriend, whom I give less than two shits about. She has become so selfish lately. What really did it for me was a couple of months ago, when she invited me to lunch and never showed up. No call, no apology. I had to call her only to find out she was at the fucking barbershop with her boyfriend.

I swear the two of them together equals true annoyance. The few times I have hung out with them, every word they exchange with one another starts with "Babe". "Babe" where's my CD? "Babe" have u seen my lipgloss? It's truly sickening. What's even more sickening is that this dude she is with has soooo much baggage. He is a married man, although he is separated, but still married none the less, and if that's not bad enough, he has a baby on the way with another girl, whom he impregnated when he was dating my friend. Good Golly Fuck, how stupid can a person be? I have lost so much respect for her as a person and as a friend. She acts like she can't fucking breathe without being in his presence. I have been basically passed over for Grade A DICK, that's all it can be. Why else would person put up with so much shit. Whenever I ask for anything, it's always an excuse. "I'm helping him make this demo." "I'm at the studio." I forgot to mention her beloved is a producer/rapper/singer, WHO THE FUCK ISN'T?! Especially in Saint Louis. I have had to bite my tongue so many times, to hold back from saying YOU ARE NOT KIMORA & RUSSELL, you are not even BOBBY & WHITNEY on ur good day!!!!

Let the truth be told, I am not jealous, I repeat, I AM NOT JEALOUS. I would be happy for her, if there was a reason to be happy.I have just come to accept the fact that my friendship with my GRACE, my best friend, might be coming to a close, either way things aren't the same and may never be the same again. We are only friends when its convenient or when he breaks up with her. My circle of true friends becomes smaller every day it seems. I would be lying if I said that shit didn't suck, because it does. I just really don't understand what is so hard about maintaining a relationship and a friendship? Can't a person have both? What is it about being in a relationship, that makes one say fuck my friends, I don't need them?

The Look

It worked for awhile--until one day I walked into a gym and was smiled at by a tall, well-built man with a swinging dick. All he had to do was give me the look and I was ready to switch teams again.

I Say A Little Prayer
E. Lynn Harris

The other day while reading E. Lynn Harris' latest novel, I Say A Little Prayer, I became confused and then a little irritated. It wasn't because the book was bad, but because I kept wondering what this damn look was that Harris kept speaking about. The look that is code to other gay men to let the other know they are "family", down, Dl, gay, etc. This is not the first time I have heard about the look. I remember seeing J.L King on Oprah, when he discussed the DL and how in black churches men often give each other the look. What the hell does the look look like? Is it just a stare? I would assume giving the look to wrong person could lead to a beatdown.

After reading and thinking about the look, I decided to test out my version of the look at the club later on that night. Iarrived fashionably late at about 12 a.m. only to be told by the bouncer at the door that Timbs aren't allowed, but to my suprise, he finished his sentence with, "Since your so clean I'm gonna let u slide." See it pays to be a dope dresser. Me and my posse entered the club and found a spot to post at. I looked around at all the fine specimens walking around and I spotted him, my test dummy. He sported a bald head and wore a black button-up and jeans. He appeared to be alone. He looked familiar and I could have sworn I saw him on Adam4Adam. There are only like 150 men at a time in Saint Louis on Adam4Adam, so its pretty easy to remember faces. It was time to test out this "look". I glanced in his direction a few times, before I made eye contact with him, it was now or never. I squinted my eyes a bit and licked my lips and held my eye contact with him for about 3 secs and turned away. I kid you not, within a 5 minute time period he was standing right behind me. I looked over my shoulder at him and turned back around. I guess he got tired of standing there, because he was soon gone. I wasn't really trying to get to know him or anything, just wanted to see if he would respond to my advances and he did. Maybe this "look" thing has some truth to it.

Gay It Forward: Color by Numbers

The other day I ran across a website called Club Rimshot and on that site there was interview with Mr. Karamo Brown from the Real World. In the interview(which you can click here to see) Karamo and his Latin Lover Ed discuss their relationship and the "haters". Karamo and Ed both go on to discuss how they each, personally get flack from their own communities, black and Latino, for dating outside their race.

Maybe I'm a little naive, but do minority races even have room to be prejudiced or against interracial dating. I don't know if the people who are giving them grief for being together are gay, straight, or both. Are we really doing this? Can a community (The Gay community) that is discriminated on a regular basis really be prejudiced against something like interracial dating.

How can we be against someone for dating outside their race when we are dating someone of the same sex? Discrimination against interracial dating within the gay community, Invisible or In front of you ?

Uncut

Now this is the Noah's Arc I wish we had gotten to see. Who cares that the acting isn't that great! I hope this is on the Noah's Arc DVD series.