Vagina..Schmagina...

I fucking hate Monday’s and nobody fucks up a Monday like I do. This is 2006, a new year, so I’m trying to have new attitude and be more positive, but damn it’s hard, when you have days like I do.

As stated before, in a previous post, I am a cashier. Being a cashier you never know whom you are going to meet, therefore it is necessary to look your best at all times. After checking myself out in the mirror, I start my day on the express lane, which is the busiest lane. A few hours past, my day is going as well as can be expected, despite the fact that I am hella sick and not feeling well at all.My line is fairly long at this point and I notice a very handsome, sexy, dark skinned brother in my line. I recognize him instantly as a regular customer, whom I have had the biggest crush on for the longest. I don’t know if he is gay, straight, bi, or whatever, but for some reason I am drawn to him. So, he finally reaches the front of my line. I greet him and ask him the usual questions, plastic or paper? Blah blah ……etc. I try to make eye contact with him whenever the chance presents itself. This is where things went from okay to just plain and ridiculously embarrassing.

Sexy Ass Customer: Ummm..Can I get a pack of VirGINIA Slims?

Kaos: *I don’t smoke cigarettes at all, so I always have a hard time finding them*(Searching for the cigarettes) You said, VirGINA Slims right? (Fuck Me Sideways! Did I just say VirGINA???!)

Sexy Ass Customer: (Smirking and small chuckle) Yea

I was no good after that, all I could do was give him his groceries and force a small smile. No wonder I'm single. Maybe I should grow a mullet, buy a plaid flannel shirt, and go speak at the VAGINA monologues.