Shut Up Bitch!

The other night some friends and I went to what ghetto black people consider fancy, expensive, and high class, Red Lobster. We walk through the doors, where the two hosts standing at the front podium greet us. The first host was a little black girl who looked to be about 16 at least, with braces, wearing a long weave ponytail, standing next to her was a black guy a little on the healthy side (nothing wrong with that, I am a thick dude myself) who looked to be about 20 or 21 maybe. He wore a low hair cut which looked like it had 2 buckets of gel in it and when I looked closely at him, I could see he was wearing lip gloss of some sort, seeing this my gaydar immediately goes off. I greet them both hello as I walk closer to them. The male host quickly asks me, “How many in your party?” I respond, “Five.” Would you like smoking or non? “Non”, I reply. “What’s your name?” he asks. I tell him my last name as he scribbles down the information on his little notepad. “Thanks” I say as I go to sit down and wait with my other friends.

20 minutes later my friends and I are finally seated. We are all flipping through the menus trying to figure out what we want to eat, when the male host from earlier comes out of nowhere asking for our drink orders. He goes around the table one by one, and when he finally gets to me, he asks, “Don’t I know you from somewhere?” I reply, “Not that I know of.” He gives me a little smirk and I say, “I’ll have a Dr.Pepper.” He leaves and comes back a few minutes later with our drinks and leaves again. Finally a waitress comes over and takes our order. We get our food, were drinking, talking, laughing, and having a nice dinner. By the time everyone is done with their food, the restaurant is pretty empty, since they are about to close in 30 minutes or so.

As my friends and I are sitting around conversing, the male host from earlier come back to our table with what looked like a new coating of lip gloss, and asks, “Is everything OK? Do ya’ll want some more to drink?” Everyone just shakes their head and says, “Nah we’re good.” The host then turns to me and asks, “You sure I don’t know you from somewhere?” I respond, “I’m sure.” Right before smacking his lips really loud, he then asks, “Do you know somebody named Tyrell or Jason? You ever been to FACES (which is a Gay club)?” I feel all eyes on me at the table, feeling really annoyed and uncomfortable at this point, I respond nonchalantly, “Nah.” He then goes on to say, “You look like this dude my friend use to talk to.” I respond, “I’m pretty sure we don’t know each other.” He then stares at me for a second,as if I am lying,and says, “Alright ya’ll have a nice night.” Once he is out of sight everybody starts laughing and joking about what just happened. I laugh nervously as we get our coats and pay our bill. What just happened? Was I just OUTED at Red Lobster???