Ya'll Memba Dat....

As much I try to say I'm not country, I am, and down here in Saint Louis it's country. "Memba" is how some people say "Remember". Like for example, your talking to your boys and go, "Yo, ya'll memba dat time when....." Well I was in the car the other day and I had a "Memba Dat" moment.

This song came on and it use to be my shit.I was in 7th or 8th grade when it came out. I had this song on cassette single and wore that tape out. I knew the whole dance routine to the video when it use to play on Video Soul. So let's see if ya'll Memba dis......

Case of The Pink People

I seriously watch too much T.V , my newest reality addiction is the Ice Cube produced Black & White.The whole premise is good, but the people look ridiculous in my opinion. If I saw either of these families in the streets I am not sure I would be convinced that either is black or white. Just about every episode of this show, has moments that make me squirm or cringe. It amazes and angers me how some white people are still so closed-minded and ignorant of their own prejudices. Everytime I watch this show, I think back to an incident that happen to me maybe about a year ago.

I was at one of the malls here in Saint Louis, called the St.Louis Galleria. I was shopping with a friend of mine and we were going store to store, browsing and buying things. My friend who happened to be a female, spotted some new exotic candle store that she wanted to go in. I really wasn't in the mood to smell candles and fruity scents, but I went in against my will to accommodate my friend. I walked in the store and just stood back while she smelled all the candles and looked around. We probably stayed in the store for about 5 minutes max. We leave the store and proceed to the other end of the mall.

We ended up in another girl store (Lerners I think). We are in there for about 10 minutes. I'm standing near the entrance of the store on my cellphone waiting for my friend to get done trying on clothes and browsing the racks. All of a sudden in front of everybody, 4 security guards surround me. I quickly hang up my cellphone, not sure what's going on. Then I see a white man emerge from behind one of the guards. One of the guards say, "Is this the guy?" The white man replies, "Yes". The white man was the manager of the candle store that we had left like 20 minutes ago. The white man then said, "A customer said he saw you take and put some candles in your jean pockets." I replied calmly, "I didn't take and put anything from your store in my pocket." The white man appeared to be nervous. The security guards then asked the white man, "Do you want to search him?" I looked at the white man as he begin to pat my jean pockets. Meanwhile my friend is looking on in disbelief while customers are stopping to see whats going on, whispering back and forth between one another. I was officially humiliated. The white man gets done searching me and says, "I didn't find anything." Two of the four security guards laugh as they all began to walk away. No apology or anything, for harassing me.

I stood there for a moment in shock, I couldn't believe what just happened. After that, I just really wanted to go home. It wasn't until a few hours later, that I was at home and all the coulda, woulda, shoulda started to set in. I should have gotten the white man's name. I should have reported him to the police. I should have sued. I do regret how I handled that situation and if it were to happen now, the outcome would be bigger and greater. All I can do now, is be aware that Racisim is alive and well, and I don't think it will ever completely go away.

Live It Up

Music: I Just Died by Amerie

I haven't been posting as much on here lately, not that I ever posted everyday anyway, but I just feel like I have nothing to say, nothing to write about, no experiences to share, and I think this is due to the fact that I'm not really living. I'm here but I'm not. I'm alive, but I'm dead. Life is suppose to be this big adventure that's unpredictable and exciting, but that really doesn't seem to be the case for me. Everyday feels routine to me, to the point where I feel like I am stuck in the movie Groundhog's Day. There is so much I want to experience and so little that I have experienced. I know its time for a change and the only way anything is going to change is if I make the effort. How can a person be so smart (me) but yet so slow in the simple things in life. For example, I still don't have my driver's license and as a matter of fact, I just got my permit renewed the other day. All I know is that I am sick of riding the bus and depending on other people to take me here and there.

Today is the first day in awhile, that I have felt happy, because I finally have some sort of plan to follow for my life. By the end of the year I plan on having my driver's license, a car, a new job, and my very first apartment. Also I plan on enrolling into grad school for the fall 2007 semester. I don't have everything completely worked out and I would actually like to go to grad school out of state, but I guess this is a start. Wish me luck.

I Need LOVE

When I'm alone in my room sometimes I stare at the wall and in the back of my mind I hear my conscience call Telling me I need a girl who's as sweet as a dove for the first time in my life, I see I need love.

LL Cool J

I am in serious need of LOVE and affection from another man. No matter how much us single people say we don't need anyone, the truth still remains that everybody needs somebody sometimes (that's a song right?). The other night I finally gave my number to this guy I had been chatting with online for about 2 weeks. I am always cautious to who I give my number to, especially when it comes to people online. We all know there a lot of crazies on here. Anywho, we talked on the phone for about 40-45 minutes. The conversation was great. We laughed, talked, flirted, and there weren't any awkward moments of silence. At some point during the conversation, he got a phone call and said he would call me back shortly, and to my surprise, HE DID. We shared another good brief conversation and agreed to talk tomorrow. That was Thursday and today is Saturday, and I haven't heard from him since.

Now I have relasped back into CSB (Crazy Single Behavior). Did I say something to turn him off? Did I appear desperate or needy? What did I do wrong? I wasn't counting on anything from him just because we spoke on the phone once, but I had hope. Sometimes I just have to wonder: How can something we all need and want, be so hard to find among other people who are looking for the same thing? You hear a lot of straight women complaining that all the good men are either married, locked up, or GAY. If that's the case, then why am I still single?

Say Cheezy!

Rapper Jay Jenkins (aka Young Jeezy) was arrested by Florida cops in March 2006 and charged with two counts of carrying a concealed firearm without a permit. According to Miami Beach police, Jeezy, 28, was busted after an alleged shootout in South Beach involving members of his entourage. After officers stopped him and his crew a short time later, they found Jeezy with a semi-automatic gun under his seat and another near the armrest. He was then transported to the Miami-Dade County jail where he posed for the above mug shot. (Source)

So Hot, I Don't Need A Fucking Title

Guess Who's Bizaack? It's been a minute since I have posted on here so I should have a lot say, but I really don't. I celebrated my birthday all weekend, and it was probably one of my best birthdays ever. I even called in at work on Sunday, which I NEVER do, and to be honest I didn't feel a bit of guilt doing it. I got my mind back and I'm feeling good. Thank you everybody who wished me a Happy Birthday, it was really appreciated.

This past week I have been watching a lot of model/fashion t.v shows (America's Next Top Model and 8th and Ocean). I think its safe to say I am obsessed with models. I just think they are beautiful, male and female. I don't know what it is, but I just have a fascination and appreciation for beautiful species. I think beautiful comes in all shapes and sizes, but there is just one person I personally think is just damn near perfection. He is not a model, but he should be.

Alton Williams

Alot of you might know him from The Real World Las Vegas or from the Gauntlet. If anybody is wondering, He and Irulan are no longer together and the shackles have come off.

As New York from Flava of Love would say, "He is just a beautiful, scrumptous man." 5 feet 11 inches of Dark chocolate and a Grade A certified shlong. He looks like a African Mandingo Warrior. Black is Truly Beautiful.



If anyone has any nude shots of him, I will gladly accept them as a belated birthday gift.

It's Ya Birthday!

Well today is my birthday, I'm officially 24 years old and in gay years I think that's like 29 (just a rough estimate). I don't know how I'm suppose to feel. I'm not super excited or anything, because in the past I have had a few bad birthdays, but if I feel anything at all, it would just be blessed. I'm happy to be alive and well, so I guess I can't complain too much. But it would realllllyyyyy be nice if for once I had someone special to share my birthday with, I guess I will just have to make the best of it like always.

On to other things, Last night was probably like my gayest night of television ever, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway all in the same night, what more could I have asked for? Originally I pegged Jade and Gina as my two favorites, but that quickly changed once they opened their mouths. I really like Nnenna, Kari, and Brooke. I just have one question, what the fuck is up with Furonda? There is no reason, one should ever be on television looking that messed up, she looked like she just escaped the plantation. Also when that chick Danielle said she didn't know what regal meant, I couldn't help but cringe. Black people we gotta do better! I think this is gonna be a good season. I can't predict a winner just yet.

I am so bummed that Santino lost Project Runway. I seriously thought he had the best collection last night. Is it weird that he was starting to look kind of hot to me? Chloe's collection looked very retro and not in a good way. I didn't understand the big, puffy, marshmallow sleeves, but I guess she deserved to win. She acted like she didn't care about winning, and she already has her own store and is already successful, so I thought Santino was a shoe in. Daniel V's collection was a big yawn to me, I actually expected more from him. But the party must go on, so on that note, I'm gonna go enjoy my Birthday.