Penis To Punani

I was driving to work the other day, and on my way there I drove by a very interesting billboard. I had to make sure I was reading it correctly. There is apparently a big conference this weekend in St.Louis for people affected by homosexuality and would like to become straight.

I dont understand why so-called religious folks are some of the biggest hypocrites. I didn't know being GAY was a CHOICE. You are what you are, it is what it is. You can't change the way God has made you, but if you would like to be converted from a HOMO to HETERO click here.

Chain Of Fools

Music- LoveFool by The Cardigans

I have often complained about being single and wanting to be in a relationship with someone. I didn’t think about this until recently, but maybe it’s a blessing in disguise that I am single at the moment. I look at some of my family and friends, and see how love has and is making a fool out of them. All the drama, lying, unanswered questions and feelings, and not to mention the cheating. I can honestly say right now, I’m happy that I am single and its not me dealing with all the possibilities of wrong that come with being a relationship. I refuse to be one of those people who are stuck on stupid and some of those people are my friends, but they drain me emotionally with all their daily bullshit. I have gotten to the point now, where I don’t want to hear what’s going in their relationships, because honestly I DON’T GIVE A DAMMMNNN!

I am seriously surrounded by fools, plagued with stupidity, and blinded by so-called love. A friendship of 13 years is in jeopardy, because my best friend has decided to enter the contest, for Simple Chick of the year. I never thought she would be one of those females who let a man play with her head and heart, but I have been proven wrong. I’m tired of hearing how depressed she is and how she doesn’t know what to do. One day she’s through with him and the next she is ignoring my phone calls, because she is with him and is too embarrassed to tell me.

My sister falls right into the ignorant, ghetto, baby-mama drama syndrome that plagues so many people. Her relationship with her boyfriend is equivalent to Ike Turner meets Shanehneh. It’s just drama on top of drama and she has brought my family nothing but embarrassment, since the first day she met her renaissance man, who happens to not only be a high school drop out, but a thief, drug dealer, and a boy-who-likes-boys. I don't know what it is, but for alot of chicks, if you don't have a criminal record, they are not interested. Last year on my block, my family broke the record for having the most number of police visits at our resident, all thanks to my sister and her boyfriend.

Love is a beautiful thing, but when it causes you to make an ass out of yourself, that’s when it turns ugly. I think sometimes people just refuse to see the truth, and just think maybe they are not doing what it takes to make the relationship work. I guess love really is blind on a lot of levels. I would love to fall in love, be in love, sleep in love, be love, be loved but, I WILL NOT BE ANYONE’S FOOL…EVER, I will leave that shit up to the fag hags, like Star Jones and Terry McMillan (You hoes know and knew, stop acting brand new!)

Boy, Girl, Boy, Girl, Transvestite

Pentecostal minister Hezekiah Walker, one of the most renowned Black ministers in the nation, is a reported homosexual. This startling revelation has come out during his extremely bitter divorce from his longtime wife Monique.

According to sources close to the divorce, Monique Walker suspected that something was awry when her husband infected her with a sexually transmitted disease. After confronting Pastor Walker about the disease, he reportedly admitted to carrying on an affair with a man who wears women's clothing and a blond wig. Sources claim that Walker then forced his wife and children from their home so that he could live in peace with his transvestite lover.

Pastor Walker's down-low lifestyle is particularly shocking given that he has been an outspoken critic of homosexual lifestyles.

A member of Pastor Walker's congregation seemed relieved about the news, explaining that she's "glad the cat is finally out of the bag." According to the woman, "many churchgoers left the church because of all the rumors [concerning Pastor Hezekiah Walker's sexuality], and hopefully now the Pastor will step down and the church members can come back."

Hezekiah Walker is probably best known for his gospel recordings which earned him 2 Grammy Awards and 10 nominations. He also performed alongside Mariah Carey during last weeks Grammy Awards. (source)

Suprising? Maybe. Shocking? Not at all. Speak on it!!

Stupid Cupid

Music: Don't Disturb This Groove- Ready for the World

Yesterday I must have checked out at least 100 people all buying cheesy Valentine’s Day cards, balloons, flowers, etc. Mainly people seemed to be buying condoms and chocolate. Since when does chocolate=a sure bet of getting some sex. I have never been a big fan of Valentine’s Day, at all. I don’t believe it in. It’s a big fat scam if you ask me. If you’re a so-called happy couple in love, then why do you need to have a day to recognize it, you should celebrate your love everyday.

Half of the people who are buying all these elaborate gifts are not even buying them for their significant others, they are buying them for the mistress. I guess it makes since, since the mistress is the one who’s sucking your dick, of course you wouldn’t want to jeopardize weekly blowjobs. If I sound bitter, I’m not. I just refuse to celebrate a day where a white, little, chubby boy with a perm gone badly shoots you in the ass with an arrow. If I want to get to shot in the ass I’ll just go hunting with Dick Cheney.

Mandingo

For some reason I am always put on the spot, whether it is at home, work, or school. People tend to always ask me off the wall questions in front of big groups of people. I don’t confide in too many people, so I guess there is always a big cloud of mystery surrounding me. Only two people truly know me, and that’s God and myself.

I have now actually become accustomed to being in uncomfortable situations and handling them very well. A few years ago, I was put in probably one of the most uncomfortable situations in my life at the time. It was 2002, spring semester, and I was a sophomore in college. I’m sitting in one of my favorite classes at the time, Ethics in The Media. The class is probably about 30 people max, and everyone is white, except for me. It didn’t really bother me, because I was use to being one of the few or only black people in all my classes. Today’s topic in class was stereotypes. The professor went around the room asking us to name a few common stereotypes about minorities. People raised their hand and said what they had to say. One girl then raises her hand and says, “All BLACK Men Have BIG PENISES.” People instantly start giggling and laughing. I begin to squirm in my seat a bit and laugh. Suddenly, the teacher says, “Let’s find out.” He then turns to me and calls me by name and says, “Do all BLACK men have BIG PENISES???” I was shocked as all eyes turned toward to me. It was like a scene in one of those teen movies, where you are the new kid in town and you enter the classroom on your first day and suddenly everyone stops what they are doing to look at you. It was embarrassing to say the least. Interestingly enough, I seemed to make quite a few new friends from the class, after that incident.

Supermarket, SuperBITCHES

I’ve been a cashier at the grocery store for a minute now, and I hate it with a passion. The people I work with are cool, but the customers suck!! Most of the customers are white, middle to upper class people who think cashier is another word for servant. I come encounter with some of the biggest assholes on a regular basis. Some of the customers who come through my line act like they are at a drive-thru window and began dishing out all these demands left and right. I am sick of working with the public, at least in a grocery store environment. I probably just have a case of the PINK PEOPLE. Since people don’t know how to act, I guess I have to spell it out, so just follow along.

• I consider myself to be a very polite dude. My momma didn’t raise no fool. I fucking hate though, when I greet a customer by saying “HELLO” and their only response is “I WANT PAPER!” I guess you are just waaayyyy to busy to acknowledge me. You’re SOOOO BUSY! You’re SOOO BUSY!
• I don’t understand customers who complain about the line being long, but when I get to them and I’m ready to check them out, they are not even fucking prepared. They take forever writing the check out or finding their credit card. HAVE YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!!!, before you get to the front of the line.
• The rule in most grocery stores is to card anyone who looks to be under the age of 30. I don’t understand for the life of me, why people who look like they could be HARRIET TUBMAN’S mother or father, attempt to show their I.D when buying liquor or get mad when I don’t card them.
• I fucking hate when customers come in the store, thinking we owe them something. I don’t understand when people come in and buy a shit load of groceries and they have their 3 big ass teenage sons with them, and have the fucking nerve to ask the bagger for help out to the car with their groceries. WHY THE FUCK do you need help out?? Have your fucking LAZY ASS KIDS help you with your groceries!!!
• I don’t know what it is, but for some reason in my line, I always get the black people who are notorious for writing bad checks. I can easily spot them now, because they always buy the same thing, CONDOMS, BEER, and CHICKEN. Then, when I go to run the check thru, it’s denied. STOP THE MADNESS!
• If your order comes to a total $20.38 and you give me $21.00, DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT wait until I tender in $21.00 to then say “Oh I got .35 cents. THAT SHIT IRKS THE FUCK OUT OF ME!
• Finally, I respect my elders and all that jazz, but enough is enough. It seems like every person over 50 who comes in my line, has back problems, just had surgery on a leg, foot, eye etc. and they always say the same thing. “I want double paper and make them light!” WHAT IS THE FUCKING POINT OF THAT???!!!If you want the bags light, why not just use the plastic bags, which have handles on them!!!

So all I ask is that next time you go into a grocery store and you have a “nice cashier” which is rare in most places, just try to treat them a little better and acknowledge their presence. It’s not an easy job so just be a little more appreciative.